Whitest Girl You Know

Translucent ruminations of a very pale girl.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Spring Sprang Into Summer

A week ago it was 30 degrees. The past 3 days it's been in the 70s, nearly 80s today. What happened to spring? Oh yeah, it rains in spring. Guess that's happening later this week.

Hope you all enjoyed this well deserved weather


Offensive Question #2

Two part question:

a) How do paraplegic people know when they have to pee?
b) How do they pee?

Like I said before, insensitive. And yes, this was inspired by Joe from Family Guy.


Current Obsessions

In exact order:

1. Aaron Behrens
2. matzoh ball soup
3. Mike's elliptical machine
4. windows open, fans on


Friday, April 20, 2007

Rockstar Crush

Last night, Mike, Callie, Lizzie and I painted the town red. After dinner and girl talk (you best believe Mike can hold his own during goss sessions), we headed over to Great Scott to see Ghostland Observatory. Fucking brilliant. The girls weren't very familiar with them but they were instantly converted and we tried to get on stage to dance (didn't happen).

We all have a new crush now - Aaron Behrens. He's the man in the Pocahontas pigtails. Incredible stage presence, incredible voice, incredible sex appeal. After Mike left him hanging on a handshake, Callie gave him a big hug. Then I stole water from them and we went to go see Braun, who is now back to his stage name "The Beyonder" spin at Good Life. We danced and drank too much and had an adventurous ride home.

Here's more deliciousness of my new heartthrob for your viewing pleasure! The man can't stand still. Or close his mouth.

P.S. Yes, the other guy in the band is wearing a cape. It's his thing. He's pretty amazing too, musically speaking.


Thursday, April 19, 2007

Offensive Questions I Can't Help But Ask #1

I'm an insensitive asshole and I'm filled with insensitive asshole questions. I spend a lot of time alone left to my own devices so random questions pop into my head that I have no one to immediately ask. So they fester and boil somewhere in the part of my brain that makes questions. I think there is no better forum then the internet to ask such things because I'm bound to get some sort of response. Here's my first question:

Can cat's have downs syndrome?

The picture above is from mycathatesyou.blogspot.com and was the first thing that appeared on google images when I searched "cats + downs syndrome". Her name is Abigail.


Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Today's Post Brought To You By the Letter "D"

These are the types of questions I ask Adam G.

1) What are D's referring to in "Throw some D's on that bitch" - I'm guessing rims, but why call them D's

2) What does DVS mean? Not the skate company. In many Jay-Z songs, and those of his affiliates (Foxy, Beyonce, etc.), they refer to DVS i.e. "Never settle for less, I'm in excess/Not in-ex-pensive DVS". And Beyonce refs it in whatever her new song is, too. Not a clue to what it stands for.

I've been spending a lot of time with Sirius lately when I'm not locked in a room in Framingham, MA sorting clothes. Please help me solve these riddle that rattle my brain.


Monday, April 09, 2007

Happy Birthday Brianne!

Another one hits 25 and calls it quits on the boozing.

Much love to one of my oldest and dearest friends.


The Story of the Most Beautiful Easter Egg

We just got back from a very long short weekend in beautiful Fuquay-Varina, NC to visit my aunt & uncle's new place (which is goregous!). Great times were had by all, especially Mike, when he got to make his first Easter egg.

The first dip.

Pray for beauty.

Creating art.

The second dip.

Wrapped and dried.

The most beautiful Easter egg EVER.

A victory dance with Nanny.

Shortly after, Mike admired his egg and carried it around. Then out of nowhere, he shoved it in my mouth and got mad at me because it subsequently fell out and cracked on the ground. Once it was retrieved from the other side of the couch, he ate it.

The end.


Current Obsessions

In no particular order:

1. Guitar Hero (I'm #1 at "Heart Shaped Box! Wooooo!)
2. Human League ("Are you listening to Annie?")
3. Running more then 1 mile at a time
4. Steno pads
5. Sirius over XM
6. "The Prayer" by Bloc Party
7. Collette No. 6
8. Paying my taxes in full
9. Dying Easter eggs
10. Mike's Nana


Happiest Man Alive

Shea & his daughter Esme. Can't wait to meet her!

The Shiksa Who Saved Passover

...Er, well, just on the second night. And only during Miriam's Cup. For my fellow goyem who don't have the pleasure of dating into a Jewish family, Miriam's Cup is an add-on reading to the Passover Seder. After everyone at the table has had their turn to read out of the Haggadah (or on this particular night's case, hand-outs with uplifting quotes from the likes of Martin Luther King, Jr, who last time I checked, was not Jewish), the woman of the house introduces Miriam's Cup to pay homage to a Jewish woman who has made a difference throughout history. It's usually Golda Meier or a woman of such calliber.

This year, the second night mark's the 10th anniversary of the death of Mike's Nana, his mom's mom. So Miriam's Cup was for her. Mike's mom lost it at some points where her husband would take over and skip every other line and she would yell at him. Seeing how half assed everyone was taking this, I decided to take over the next time she faded off. And I did. So I saved Passover.

Afterwards, I went to the bathroom to cry. When I calmed myself, I came out to see Mike's mom and aunt in the corner crying. So I went up and hugged them and cried some more. I'm such a sap.

P.S. Mike's Nana was hauntingly beautiful and brilliant and best of all...FROM NEW JERSEY! I guess I have a soft spot for that.


Conversations at Seder

Although this is Armani, it is the closest thing I can find to the suit referenced in this post. Just imagine pants rather then a skirt, a white blouse underneath, silver Gucci wedges and lots of red hair in place of the hat.>

MK: So Mom, I see your wearing a Texas tuxedo?
LK: (wearing a denim suit from Chanel with a metallic sheen) How can it be a Texas tuxedo if it's French?
DK: Don't you mean a Canadian tuxedo?
LK: But it's French! I don't understand why you keep calling it that!

After that, the conversation quickly turned to who will end up being the democratic presidential candidate and Jewish philanthropy. Needless to say I stopped paying attention after my 3rd glass of wine and a convo about silver nail polish being the NBT with Mike's mom and aunt.

(A Texas/Canadian tuxedo is a denim jacket and jeans, for those of you who aren't in the know).

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I'm a lazy bitch. It's as easy as that. I can't find that happy medium between working and doing anything else with myself. I shop all day for a living. I come home and I don't want to clean, go to the gym or write, even though all I do all day is think about doing such things. Posts are written in my head and lost forever by the time I get near a computer.

Here is a measly attempt to catch up on the past week or so.


Sunday, April 01, 2007

Confessions From the Dancefloor

Went to Middlesex last night with the Sisters Deegan and had an insane time. Although the music was kinda cheesey and there were more men in ties then a board meeting on State St, I managed to dance on a table and get very sweet boys of questionable sexuality to buy me drinks.

Here's a blind item: What head of marketing for a shoe company was seen constantly grabbing the asses of the same sex in between dancing with some pretty ladies? Here's a hint, the brand is opening a store on Greene St. in New York this year.

Can I get any more obscure?

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