Whitest Girl You Know

Translucent ruminations of a very pale girl.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

A Wrap For My Boo OR "Tina Is A Cougar"

My style soulmate and creative partner in crime, Sarah Shirley's birthday just passed on Monday. My head has been elsewhere, leading me to think her birthday was the day before and neglecting to write her/leave her a voicemail with a birthday rap on it. This started on my birthday this year when Sarah left a lengthy and humorous rap about my date of birth on my voicemail (or perhaps in an email). To return the bday favor, here is a "wrap" for my boo. Please excuse my corniness, it's an elaborate inside joke within an inside joke.

Tina Is A Cougar

(I paid Pharrell $50,000 to do the beat for this. The check hasn't cleared yet, which means he's too busy modeling for LV or hanging out with Luda. Please use your imagination.)

You might know her as "Tina"/
Everytime your see her/
she looks a bit lean-ah./
The boys like to/
make her scream like Xena./
But if she can't get off/
she gets a little bit mean-ah.

Hold her gold/
her ice is cold./
Let her mold/
do what your told.

CHORUS (sung by P. Williams)
Skateboard P wants to see that booty round/
so I can drop that Neptunes sound/
and watch you bring it all the way down.

Boys watch her in the morning/
on the tele./
But they don't interrupt her/
by calling on the cellie/
'cause she'll piss off/
Regis & Kelly.

Win her heart by taking her on/
a surf day./
And those who play/
on her turf say/
"I KNOW THIS PAST MONDAY WAS TINA'S BIRFDAY!!!"

Repeat Chorus



I love you Tina! Happy belated birthday!

1 Comments:

At 8:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was the shit Liana!!! I am so LOL right now- you've got skills!
I just happed to look at your blog tonight- it's very entertaining and well written. Keep it up and have a wonderful holiday season...happy Christmas and Merry Hannikuh...smaoke yer marijuanicuh and all of that...I'm off to Dublin for a few weeks so happy new year, too!

-Tine

 

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