Anna Nicole Is DEAD!

So much for that paternity suit.

My guess is that her creepy lawyer/"husband" had something to do with this. He keeps the baby and gets all her money. In 20 years, he'll marry the baby. Scumbag.

MY THEORY: Go to a remote Bahamian island and look out for ANS. She pulled an Elvis (or Tupac) for real and is hiding out, expecting Howard K Stern to collect the money the baby inherits and bringing it back to her so she doesn't need to worry about the paternity suit shit. Happily ever after, the end.

Too bad she had a terrible drug problem or else I'd believe my own theory.