An Open Letter From Me to Nicolas Cage

Dear Mr Coppolla (that's his real last name),



Please stop doing action movies. You're getting old, and the only old dude who should be doing action movies is James Bond. And you're no James Bond material. This also applies to Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, who were much more credible when they kept it local instead of wearing spandex.

Best of luck!

Me

P.S. Method Man better have at least a song on your movie's soundtrack because he was Johnny Blaze a.k.a. Ghost Rider WAY before you were.

P.P.S. Same goes for Ghostface when the Iron Man movie comes out.