Whitest Girl You Know

Translucent ruminations of a very pale girl.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Mistaken Identity

I received a curious note in the mail from "Nicole Richie" about this blog, here is my response...

Dear Nicole,

It's so funny that you think this is Paris! Maybe you got confused because you were just in France. Silly girl! It's been me the whole time! You know I'm really white underneath all the Mystic Tan!

Anyway, how have you been babe? It's been a minute since I last saw you. Europe has been very therapeutic in helping me get over Harry Morton but now that you and Paris are friends again, perhaps she can introduce me to a new billionaire heir (and I'm not talking about Brandon Davis! Isn't he a fat sweaty pig? I don't know how Mischa dealt with him for as long as she did).

Here's a picture of us with Rachel from that really fun party for MTV we were at last year (I don't care what anyone says, I think your collar bone can never be too boney. I wish I had your bone structure! I miss when people used to call us skeletwinz, you're so lucky you're still so thin). Have you been over there lately? She just got me the most gorgeous Fendi bag with a secret pocket for you know what. Between you and me, I think Rachel really needs some botox. I go to Dr Novak at least once a month because I NEVER want to look like that. It's all about precautionary maintenance these days.

I hope you get better at "fat camp". Call me if you need something to help you get through it.

XOXO,

Linds

P.S. Can't wait to send you some of my new stationary!

2 Comments:

At 12:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes that new stationery is so hot !!!!!! and my collar bones are the newest fashion trend
do you think KS would want to wear mine ??

 
At 6:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha fat camp.....genius. i think if you need a new bodyguard c.s. is a total tough s.t.u.d. and will be willing and able to protect. i am sure if you get lucky he might even get you some freebies with depp hair gel. or possibly tell you some brilliant one liners so you can rekindle your magical relationship with harry or wilmer!

 

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