An Open Letter to the Masses

Dear America,

Now that Paris Hilton is going to jail for 45 days, please stop giving her the time of day. Although she is the perfect example of how to become famous without talent, there is no reason for everyone paying attention to her.

As I've gotten older, my disdain for her has lessened but when I was 16 and Nicky was in Vogue's 100 Best Dressed, I immediately disliked this girl. I used to see her out in NY at fashiony things before she moved to LA and all i have to say is desperate. Kudos to her for gaining the ludicrous level of celebrity she has. But she is a worse accidental role model then Britney Spears 8 years ago with her faux virginity and all (sidenote: I'd be screaming from rooftops if I lost my virginity to Justin "Trousersnake" Tiberlake).

Sex tapes, "N" words, publicity stunts, lesbianisms, herpes, drunk driving and jail time, not to mention no one ever brings up the fact she was in rehab at 16 when she went to Sacred Heart, got expelled from most high schools in Manhattan, is an admitted bulimic (via her published diaries) and does drugs but no one sees to care are reasons beyond enough to not pay attention to her. She's almost as bad as my penchant for run-on sentences.

My sympathy to her if she actually has to stay in the clink and get passed around by the bulldykes for cigarettes. But she's Paris and she'll be out before you know it. Michelle Rodriguez was put in the same jail for drunk driving for 90 days and was out in 2 hours because of overcrowding. I'm sure this is all a publicity "wakeup call". Well, let it be a wake up call for everyone else to stop paying attention to her. Sorry Paris, the clock has been on 14 minutes for 4 years too long.

Truly yours,

The Whitest Girl You Know